Our own personal history is often overlooked when we have conflicting perspectives. Challenging ourselves to learn to: STOP, BREATHE, RECALCULATE before we ACT, especially when our emotions are triggered has no simple one size fits all solution. And yet here are a couple of timeless principles to focus on that can move us forward.
Get to know your own emotions.
This is no simple task. Learning to move at a pace that makes room to acknowledge, "I am feeling strongly right now". Then pause to breathe and ask,"What am I Feeling?" Well, there are eight basic emotions you are probably familiar with and then so many more in varying intensisties. "What am I Feeling?" Name those feelings and learn to use them for the good.
Recently, I participated in a conversation that hit a trigger for me. I had to stop, internally and admit I was feeling very strongly about a comment that was made. I felt a strong force of impatience edging on a stronger form of anger that we had discussed this so many times and you are still there!?
As I admitted the strength of my impatient emotion, I gained clarity that my impatience expressed in it's raw forrm would not create any kind of space for the other person and myself to truly hear each other or move forward at all.
This conversation was all internal and the start of being able to shift the strength of my impatience to a strong desire to find a way through. To discover what I didnot know.
Oh, my heady EGO had to take a step backwards so I could see clearly to move forward.
2. Get to know the direction you are going.
Once you acknowledge and name the strong emotion you are feeling and have hit pause, ask yourself - "Where is this emotion leading me?" If I stay in this emotional space will I throw gasoline on the situation or will I create a greater influence by bringing wisdom, grace and reality into the situation?
The strength of our emotions is the fuel that fires off our EGO. For the next while pay greater attention to how your strong emotions fuel your EGO. Stop to consider what you are learning about your self and your reactions or responses to the sitations you find yourself in. Can you see a pattern that you could begin to acknowldge and start to shift?
Discovering the patterns of our reactions and responses allows us to address some of our history and understand where we are coming from before we begin to blame others. It allows us to become more and more self responsible for our attitudes and actions.
That is a big bite for today, chew on it for a bit. Let me know how helpful this was for you.
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