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Trigger or Target?

I remember the day a friend said to me, Did you know how emotionally intelligent you are? What! At that point I only knew of one kind of intelligence and I did not resonate with being an intellectual. I was not your 3.9 grade average student! It was through this comment that I was introduced to Daniel Golman and his work in Emotional Intelligence. My eyes popped open and my heart sang because I resonated with his work.....I recognized myself in much of it. That led to more study and more research and courses to try and grasp it for myself and then to be able to walk with others in their understanding and growth.

Being raised in an era where emotions were considered the enemy of any good discussion, Goleman's work was refreshing to me. Then as I pursued courses through Coach Training Alliance, Talent Smart and The Institute for Emotional Intelligence, my knowledge, understanddng and growth increased.

I loved learning how the brain works and how it was created to form conversations between our emotions and the facts. The wonderful part is I get to be a co-creator of those conversations as I learn how to recognize, understand and lead my emotions to bring depth and breadth to conversations.

Take a week and pay attention to your physical responses such as:

clenched fists - name the emotion you are experiencing that makes you clench your first?

upset stomach - name the emotion you are experiencing that is causing you stomach to clench or to be nauseated?

squirming in your chair - name the emotion you are experiencing that is making you restless and unsettled?

stiffening of your back and sitting up straight - name the emotion you area experiencing that a is making you straighten up?

racing heart - name the emotion you are experiencing that is causing your heart to race? fear? excitement? or ?

You get the idea. Our emotions speak through our physical responses and that gives us clues on how to handle the way we feel and then be able to use those emotions in a positive way to move things forward rather than to cause a situation to become more heated, diminishing or destructive.

As you face a difficult conversation or situation, monitor your physical responses, name the emotions you are experiencing and lead them to a positive outcome.

For further information: Go to, fill out a contact form with your comments or questions.

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