Susan Scott maintains that a conversation is the relationship. When we consider difficult conversations in this light we recognize what we might sacrifice if we do not think carefully about the words, the tone, the desired outcome we are looking for.
BOLD is a pattern for handling difficult conversations. It causes us to pause and consider. As we have considered BOLD we have looked at our levels of RESPECT for ourselves, for others involved in the conversation, we have considered what our EMOTIONS are screaming at us, we have stopped to look at the FACTS, and then to consider the level of CLARITY and TIMING we need to address.
Implementing the Plan
Pre Conversation Prep:
Refine how you would describe the situation you are addressing in 4 - 6 sentences.
be clear, concise and open in your way of being, attitude and stance. This is an invitation to something better for all.
do not blame, judge or be closed. Clarify with yourself that your intent is not to be right at a all costs.
2. Be considerate in your invitation to the conversation around time, place and intent.
a. do give options for time.
b. be appropriate in your choice of place. Coffee shops are not the best place for real conversations when you are inviting healhy feedback especially if you know the others involved are not in agreement with your viewpoint.
c. let the others know you want to have a conversation with them that will include all perspectives and an oppoortunity to find a mutual way of moving forward.
Give appreciation for them taking the time for this conversation.
Let them know the layout of the conversation:
a. I will share my thinking on the situation
b. I want to hear your perpsective
c. A reminder of what is bigger than us in this conversataion which draws us into a larger context.
d. An opportunity to think about what we each need to do and how we can come to an agreement for moving forward together. Be aware that this may or maynot be one conversation.
e. Co - create together the plan for moving forwrad.
f. Commit to when you will check in with each other again.
Be open to new opportunities as you continue to hear one another and focus on your common purpose and goal.
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