Wow! Does this express how you feel about feedback?
Feedback experiences are not all the same. Preparing yourself and even asking for feedback in a difficult conversation is important.
We all come to the conversation with our perspectives and our gaps in understanding and with a lack of all the information. A difficult conversation is more than managing what we know and what we are told. The biggest piece is leading ourselves and then handling the information we hear. I truly wishe I was an expert in this and yet I find myself having to choose how I will handle each situation, how it stirs my emotions and how I will interact with the information and the person in front of me.
It often involves:
taking a deep breath
recognizing who I am and who the person in front of me is
noticing the strength of my emotions
reviewing my clarity on the real issue
shaking out my raised shoulders, clenched fists, tight stomach muscles
shoulders back and soft eyes
enter the conversation
In the midst of the conversation it means being aware of:
when I need to buy time - that is when to hit pause because this is new, I need to think, this hit a hot button, I need to think. Or you recognize your attitude is going offside and will not serve you well. A simple comment like - this is new to me, I need time to think or wow! I don't know what to say, I need time to think or?
when I need to breathe, slow down and acknowledge what is happening in the conversation that is beyond words.
when it its time for me to be silent and let silence do it's work.
that the conversation is the relationship.
Finally
learning to graciously and authentically asking for the other persons thoughts and perspectives.
acknowledging what you have heard and seeking together to come to a common purpose.
defining what you are agreeing on together and what you will do with the rest.
affirming the relationship with a simple statement of gratitude or appreciation.
I would love to hear other thoughts you have and stories of how you have navigated difficult conversations.
Contact me: ruth@inspiredtolead.ca
Check out: RuthEsau.com
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